Rest, Resistance, and the Art of Letting Go with Jordan Maney

In episode 161 of The Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim Romain and Louise Neil are joined by Jordan Maney, Radical Joy Coach and founder of The Rest Lab. What unfolds is a spacious, heart-deep conversation about rest, not as a luxury, but as a radical act of remembrance, resistance, and return.

Together, we explore what it really means to soften when you're used to holding on tightly, to be held when support feels foreign, and to allow joy even in a world full of pain. Through both metaphor and lived experience, Jordan invites us into the water... not to swim perfectly, but to float, to release, to remember we are held.

"People think rest is passive. It’s not. It’s active resistance. It’s remembering who you are beyond the frenzy." - Jordan Maney

Key Takeaways:

• Rest isn’t something you earn—it’s something you return to.
• Letting go is not a loss of control; it’s an act of trust.
• Floating, like healing, doesn’t require effort, just a willingness to soften.
• We're not meant to navigate this life alone; community isn't optional, it's essential.
• True support begins when we’re willing to receive, not just give.
• Control is not the same as safety.
• Allowing is deeply personal. It’s about reclaiming what softening looks like for you.

Key Moments:

00:00 – Welcome 
01:45 – Jordan’s intro
04:20 – “We were made for such a time as this…”: Purpose in dark times
06:01 – Sponge vs. flow: Feeling grief without being consumed
07:59 – The difference between drinking the water and swimming in it
09:40 – What happens when we don’t know how to swim?
12:53 – “If you can’t relax, you’ll never learn to trust yourself in the water”
15:58 – Why control is mistaken for safety—and what it actually costs
17:52 – Floating as self-support: Can you let yourself be held?
19:10 – The frenzy of service vs. the practice of settling
21:21 – How community quietly fills the cup when you’re depleted
24:31 – Military childhood, mutual aid, and the longing for connection
29:55 – What holds us back from resting in community?
35:21 – Stitch & Bitch, hiking, AquaZumba: Finding joy in collective care
38:42 – Creating containers where people can peek out and be themselves
41:25 – Jordan’s definition of rest: Returning energy, attention, and time to self
47:09 – “Allowing” as a portal to healing—on your own terms
49:10 – Where to find Jordan and more of her brilliant work

Connect With Jordan:

Website: https://www.jordanmaney.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanmaney/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejordanmaney/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheJordanManey/
Pinterest:

Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries community and mentorship program.

Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.

If you’re loving this show, come check out the Feminist Podcasters Collective, where creators like us are uplifting diverse voices and driving meaningful change. If you’re looking for new shows to fill your feed, head to feministpods.com to explore everything we have to offer.

Transcript

The Empowered & Embodied Show

Episode 161: Rest, Resistance, and the Art of Letting Go with Jordan Maney
Hosts: Kim Romain & Louise Neil
Guest: Jordan Maney
Release Date: May 27, 2025

Kim Romain (01:42) Well, hello, hello, hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Empowered and Embodied show. I am one of your co-hosts as always, Kim Romain, joined by my other lovely co-host.

Louise (01:53) That's me, I'm the co-host today. I'm Louise. I am.

Kim Romain (01:56) You are!

Jordan Maney (01:59) I'm the guest Jordan.

Kim Romain (02:01) We love it. Jordan, we are so glad that you are here with us today. We're going to let the world know a little bit about you. It's your bio, so it's not all about you. It's just a little bit about you. Just a little taster. All right. So Jordan is the radical joy coach and creator of The Rest Lab.

Jordan Maney (02:01) My gosh.

Yeah, just a little taste.

Kim Romain (02:25) Through her facilitation and coaching, she helps people who give a damn, aka those bleeding hearts like Louise and I, learn the radical practice of rest so they can reclaim their joy and sustain their advocacy. She's been featured in New York Magazine, Yahoo, Attention, Oprah Magazine, and Martha Stewart Living, just to name a few. Name dropper there. You can find her resting with friends, family and her sassy pup, Duchess just outside of San Antonio, Texas. And we are so, so glad that you are here with us today.

Jordan Maney (02:58) Thank y'all for having me. Duchess is asleep behind me. I'm hoping she stays asleep. But this is gonna be such a fun conversation. I've not to geek out, but I have been looking forward to this the whole like, since a while, but like, especially this week, I've been like, thank God. Highlight, highlight.

Kim Romain (03:22) We appreciate you. And if Dutchess joins in, it's okay. Like all of our pets join in. Right? Exactly. Amen. Amen. Those defined chakra, throat chakras in our animals are something that we can learn from.

Jordan Maney (03:27) She always has something to say.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, very.

Her throat chakra is open, defined, clear, loud. It's there, she's sassy.

Kim Romain (03:45) Ha

Louise (03:47) If we only all had that in our throat chakra.

Jordan Maney (03:51) Right?

Kim Romain (03:53) Some people have it a little too much, my love.

Jordan Maney (03:55) Yeah, I was going to say some people we need to switch. Some people need to pass that to the folks who need to be speaking. And maybe there's less of certain folks speaking. That might be better for the world. That might heal some things.

Kim Romain (04:13) Yeah, yeah.

Healing. Healing. Are we allowed to still say healing?

Jordan Maney (04:20) I hope so. I hope so, for real. It's necessary, especially right now. Like it's, I don't know, not to wax completely philosophical, but oftentimes I do feel like as bleak and as dark as things continue to progressively get in our world, I feel like it's also a call and a reminder to folks like us.

Kim Romain (04:21) Fuck them if we can't, because I'm going to keep saying it. Yeah. Yeah.

Jordan Maney (04:46) That that's the reason, like we were made for such a time as this. That's the reason why our Throat Chakras do need to be activated and open and clear. And we do need to be grounded because there's a lot of pain and it's hard to pretend it away, I think, once you get to a certain place of understanding what's fulfilling to you, what your purpose here is, like what you're trying to heal in the world, and also healing yourself, it's hard to pretend that it's not everywhere. I don't know. How do y'all feel about that?

Louise (05:23) Yeah, and it's, and it's hard. It's hard to pretend that I'm like rubber, like it's hard to pretend that it doesn't impact me. And it's hard to pretend that it doesn't. I don't deeply feel some of those things that are going on, but I can't feel all of those feels. Right? Like there's this balance of like, how do we show up in a place where we can absolutely embrace and heal ourselves, heal others, and not take on the pain of the world.

Jordan Maney (06:01) Yeah, not be a grief sponge.

Kim Romain (06:04) Sponge, that's the word right there. So there is a difference between, ooh, I just got lightheaded thinking about this. So this idea being a sponge, right, we soak all this stuff in, and then we need to squeeze really hard to let it out versus allowing ourselves to...

Louise (06:04) Yeah. Yeah.

Kim Romain (06:25) Allow the emotions, allow the grief, allow whatever is coming up collectively and then what exists internally to flow. And I think it's so interesting, I was having this conversation with a new client this morning and it's that place where Okay, human design, the solar plexus is mutating from a motor center into an awareness center. So we have, and this is when you hear people talk and me talk about 2027, the great shift between the cross of planning to the cross of sleeping Phoenix, it is the mutation that is really a big part of that. And what fascinates me about that is we get to, we get to, collectively move from a place of reaction, of motorized emotions, right? Emotions that cause us to be in that place of reaction to a place of consciousness and awareness with emotions. And so instead of being that sponge and then, right, because that is a reaction, a reaction is to internalize it.

We more get to, hey, Dutchess, we get to flow with it. We get to allow it to just indicate something. Yeah.

Jordan Maney (07:46) Yes!

Mm-hmm.

I, as you were saying that, it makes me think of the difference between drinking the water and swimming in it. Like, being able to be in it, but not letting it necessarily become a part of you. And I think that's different from, you know, some people, it annoys me. And it's one of the reasons why I get so...

Kim Romain (07:59) Mm-hmm.

Jordan Maney (08:16) fired up about talking about rest and joy from as a radical practice. Because a lot of people think, to do that just bypass. And I think the first step for me is no, acknowledge. Like sit in the reality. if you want, if you, you can't be present with yourself and what you're feeling, but then like only be present with a part, the part that feels good. You know what I mean? Like you can't like pretend it away. Like you have to be like, okay, this is where we are right now. This is where I am specifically right now. And that's okay. And this is how I'm feeling about it. And yet, that has to be the first step. And I feel like oftentimes a lot of people want to like pole vault over that first step. Anything not to feel the ickiness or the discomfort or the bad, but it's,

Louise (08:43) Yeah.

Jordan Maney (09:12) part of the experience.

Louise (09:14) Yeah, we do push through that icky piece and we miss out on so much. We miss out on the experience of being in there. I love that metaphor of the water, right? Like we miss the beauty of what water feels like if all we're doing is trying to get to the other side. And yeah.

Jordan Maney (09:37) Mm-hmm. You're just trying to cross over it.

Louise (09:40) Right? Like we're just trying to like plow through because it's like, ooh, water.

So here's my question. So what happens when we don't know how to swim? What happens when we're in that and we don't know how to swim?

Jordan Maney (09:54) Mmm.

I will say this is so timely because I've always loved, not to lie, I've always been drawn to the water, but very anxious child. And like my dad will tell a story of like my first set of swim lessons when we had to learn how to like back float. I was like, get me out of this water immediately. I'm not doing this. I'm like fighting my instruct as a child. Like just the anxiety of having to not just trust the water, but also trust myself. No, so I went back in 2020, of course, 2020, right before everything popped off. I went back and started swim lessons again. And the same, I came up against the same like resistance to relax in the water. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, I have to control it. I have to control it.

And right before, you know, everything or last lesson, right before everything shut down, we were learning the back float, like the back float once again, and just getting my body to relax. I just couldn't do it. Right. And so, I don't know what is in the water or the training at my local YMCA for the lifeguards. They're like 15 and the wisest people you've ever met. I don't know what they, what, what's in their training modules, but I'm just like, good Lord. But I had, God, what did they say? The first, this first set of swim lessons, they said, if you don't learn how to, like, you need to relax and if you can't relax, you're never going to learn how to trust yourself in this water. And I just heard that and was like, God, my God, my God. And so the first time, the reason I brought it up.

If you can't swim, there is an innate ability to float if you allow yourself to relax. And oftentimes we don't even recognize the tension that we're holding onto. We don't recognize how tight we are just trying to like keep everything together. But there's something about being in water. That it's a prerequisite. It's a requirement that if you step into this, you have to let go of something in order to float. So if you don't know how to swim, that's okay. You can still get in the water. can still relax enough to get into the water. But I think oftentimes, if like we're applying this to rest and taking care of yourself and joy and being present, more often than not, we forget how to relax. And I think also.

I think we also forget who we are without the tension, without the anxiety, without the pain. I think so many of us, especially through the past like almost 10 years have experienced on a collective level, so much trauma, so much grief that we've normalized things so that getting to the water is like, I can look at it, but I'm afraid to get in it.

Louise (12:53) Mmm.

Jordan Maney (13:15) Because if I let this thing go enough to like relax, to float, I don't know who I am on the other side of that. And I feel like that's kind of like the quandary, I don't know, but I feel like that's the beginning of every healing journey, is like I'm holding onto something that I wanna let go of, but I don't know what's on the other side of me letting go of this thing. Yeah.

Kim Romain (13:40) Yeah.

Yeah. That clenching, that holding that you're talking about, Two things came to mind. One is, including my lovely, wonderful husband, most men I know can't swim. And it is that they're holding on. They don't know how to relax and release. And so that then also leads to this place of how many people show up in all of our worlds and that are walking through this world who have no connection to their body. And so they are walking around clenching and holding. They're holding their breath. They're tight and they're walking around with tight muscles.

Jordan Maney (14:15) Mm-hmm.

Kim Romain (14:26) And when we say, right, we make an offering to drop into your body, what is your body telling you? They're like, I'm fucking no. My body doesn't talk to me.

Jordan Maney (14:33) Yeah, they're not there and it's is it their body doesn't talk to them or they don't know how to listen?

Kim Romain (14:40) It's the second, but they don't know that. Right? So anybody who's listening to this, if you're saying, my body's not giving me a message, it's learning how to listen to the language of your body. Because that is what speaks to us when we're learning to float, when we're stepping into the water.

Louise (15:02) Yeah, and that also saves us when we feel like we're drowning, right? That's the response as everybody who swims knows when you're stressing out and you feel like you're right, you can't swim anymore, you're getting tired or you start to panic a little bit. What saves you is to actually relax and let go so that you get to float, right? Like, yeah, floating.

Kim Romain (15:29) Yeah, I used to teach it.

Louise (15:32) Floating saves you. we do, like we carry all of this stuff in our bodies and it turns into stone when we're not accessing it and it becomes really heavy. So now here we are like made of stone trying to get across a river that all we need to do is float, but we have no access to that.

Jordan Maney (15:58) Yeah, the letting go is really, the letting go is really interesting. And I think about how when we're also experiencing some level of collectively and individually, control becomes our friend because I think it's easy to mimic what security or safety feels like.

Louise (15:59) Yeah.

Jordan Maney (16:25) Like if I can, and being in that water, you don't control the water. It's foolish to think even a pool, it's foolish to think that you could. And I had a swimmer in another lane tell this to me and I didn't get it at the time, but I do now. But she was like, you, when you get in respect the water, just like respect that this is an element you have no control over respect. is an element that can't kill you. But respect that like, have to approach this differently than when you're out of it. Let it support you. Let yourself be supported by it. And I think that's another thing about like releasing and relaxing enough to, to float is one, who am I when I set this down? Who am I when I relax? And two, can I be supported? Do I know what it feels like to be supported?

Do I know what it feels like to be held? Because floating, you literally don't have to do anything. There's nothing required for you to, you know what I mean? Like there's nothing required. There's no expert like skill level. It's something we do when we're in the womb. Like you just have to just relax. And yet I think so many people, the concept, even if they do have like community or...

Kim Romain (17:31) It's right. Yeah.

Louise (17:31) You

Jordan Maney (17:52) especially with the folks that I work with, are good at building community but not being in community. It's like, can I be held? Yeah, relax enough, just relax. And you'll feel it. But I think that's another element that holds people back.

Kim Romain (18:10) It reminds me of when people start meditating as well or doing any mindfulness work. So you don't need to do anything. Well, but I'm thinking too much. My mind is thinking too much. Okay, just thank it. Like it's not going to stop doing its job. It's processing. So just thank it for doing its thing. You just don't have to attach to it. But then I'm not meditating. No, you actually are. We, it's that tendency to over complicate, right? Well, how do I relax? What do I need to do? What do I need to do to relax? Breathe.

Jordan Maney (18:42) Breathe, breathe. The frenzy of our everyday lives, it often feels like we get so attached to that. And I know that's a point of contention. I don't want to say struggle either, but that's a part of my personal practice and approach to rest is I'm very good at providing comfort for other people.

Kim Romain (18:45) Just breathe.

Jordan Maney (19:10) And oftentimes, it takes me a while to settle into doing that for myself. And so coming up against the frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, getting to that piece of, can you relax enough to rest? Cause it's hard to go from a really activated nervous system into I'm gonna do something that makes me feel good and is super comforting. No. Like especially right now when all of our nerves are, we're all just kind of dancing with the edge.

It's hard and the point isn't to pretend that it's not, but like how do we get to a place where if we can't swim and we need to float, how do you prepare yourself to do that? And I keep coming as I'm talking, I keep coming to this image of like a river or a lake. And how if you're not used to being in the water, right? I think most people will try and approach it by themselves. Like, let me just try it out on my own, but it's one of those things where you learn from others, you learn by being with others. The best way to learn how to float is with somebody else. So like, if you do feel like scared or uncertain or you're having a hard time relaxing, there's somebody else there with you. And I think...

when it comes to spirituality, mindfulness, somatic work, getting into your body, like they require some type of like, they shine best when there's some type of communal element. And I think a lot of people are trying to heal themselves on their own, in, in isolation and it's just feels incomplete. You have to, there's an element of reaching out. There's an element of being held. There's an element of support and also accountability, but like get in the water, but don't feel like you have to get in the water by yourself.

Louise (21:21) Yeah, yeah. I work, I have a group of women that we meet weekly. We got together to initially talk about careers and like struggling with like what's next, midlife women, right? What's next? Where do I go? How do I get there? What does my business look like? How do I, lots of like, I'm here, I want to get somewhere else and so how do I like... push through all of this stuff that's somehow holding me back. And through the course of talking with these women and really deeply understanding, right, how to access what's in your body, how to access the wisdom that's there, how to navigate some of those things that are going on, but like from the inside out. And deeply understanding and the conversations that we're having now.

It's amazing to hear as we approach the end of our 10 weeks together. It's really about how do I access that part of me? How do I start to really deeply feel, like tap into that knowledge that I have in my body instead of always thinking my way through. And our conversations are about like, resources do I need? So it's not just about the knowledge, right? Like getting out of your head and into your body, but it's like, but I can't do that right now. Like, because I'm not resourced, because I don't have the, my cup isn't full. I feel like I can't, I can't get in there. So, right, community and us just coming together starts to fill a cup where people are now starting to say, hey, I'm not alone on this journey.

I'm trying to figure out my career and menopause and all the other things that are happening to me right now. And that's a lot of stuff. And just in that, and everyone else is like, yeah, that is a lot of stuff. And it's just like, I could just see people just like, absolutely like relax, right? Like starting to let go of like, I don't need to figure all of this out for tomorrow. What I need to do or what I want to do is be able to tap into my knowledge center, which is below my neck, so that when I am ready, when I am resourced, I know what to do and I know how to step. But it's amazing to see those folks in that group just physically, right? Talk about caring stuff. We carry this idea that we have to figure this all out, especially in midlife, that we should know.

And we know how to take the next step. We know how to cross a river. We know how to, right? We should just know. And it's like, no, we've never been here before. It's okay not to.

Jordan Maney (24:23) I love

Kim Romain (24:24) designed to do any of this stuff in isolation. We're not.

Jordan Maney (24:28) at all. It was very interesting growing up as an army brat. I think my concept of community was a little different from like other kids who didn't have a military background because it was, you know, insulated, but it was kind of like a golden age of...

Kim Romain (24:29) Mm-mm.

Louise (24:31) Yeah.

Jordan Maney (24:53) Everybody's house had your, whoever parent was in the military, they're ranking their name on the house. So you knew where everybody was before you knew the number of the house or whatever. Everybody's kind of going through a similar experience. even if you can't stand somebody, they're still kind of like, if you need something, I got you. And then on the family side, like we're also all going through a similar experience of trying to support someone and someone's career that can have deadly consequences, right? But I felt like every time we moved somewhere, there were either people who knew of someone else that we just left or someone we just left was coming. Like there was just this really beautiful sense of

We don't all need to like each other. We don't all need to be like besties, but there is a common experience that bonds us together. If you need something, I am here. And hey, you might not have, you know, this. My parents have this really sweet story when they were like a young couple that another couple invited them over for Christmas, because they like got their... to their new place, new place that they were stationed. They got there like right before Christmas, furniture and they didn't have furniture or anything like that. Super lonely and this couple that never met them before, but again, common experience like, come over. And they didn't have, they had like boxed macaroni and like a little meat and it wasn't like a huge spread or feast, right? There was no need to impress anybody, but it's like, here's a hot meal. And my mom always tells that story about that one.

That being one of her favorite Christmas experiences ever because it's like you strip all the trappings away and it's just about people connecting with each other. But I miss that experience of being a kid. I never worried about like, someone's gonna snatch me up or anything like that. Everybody knew who you were. So everybody kind of collectively parented you too about like, I see you, don't act up.

I think there is something about that that we all yearn for because we're humans and we're designed for connection. We're designed to be in packs. We're designed to be together with each other. But it does make me sad. My intern, Gen Z and some of them, I mean, I think her senior year was when the pandemic first hit and her college experience, some of the things that she was telling me about, I was like, like Darn like you didn't get to experience that So many people are hungry for community or hungry for connection But I think it's that same thing of getting to the water of like letting something go Can you can you accept that people are not perfect? Can you accept that you are not perfect? Can you? communicate over differences, and I'm not talking about like the difference of like racism or sexism, but just like I wouldn't approach this that way. Well, then I don't want to talk to you. That kind of like perfectionism doesn't help either, but we're yearning for community. But I just, I do wonder if people.

Are ready to be in community and not just, think some people have people they spend time with but not necessarily people that they're in community with.

Kim Romain (28:32) A muscle we haven't, I mean, and it's not just since COVID. It's not just since the internet. It's a myriad of reasons. It's the way that we've moved away from our families and our communities. We go away to college or we go away to whatever. I think we need to relearn that as a species. We need to relearn how to be together. And again, conversation I was having earlier today, I love when days happen like that where it's like, whoa, this is a theme. It's that place of how do we, as we're moving into this next phase, this Cross the Sleeping Phoenix, it is about the individual, it's about creating hyperlocal community. And hyperlocal community doesn't mean you have to physically be, right? It doesn't need to be like on the army base, right? You don't have to have that kind of hyper locality. This is hyper locality, right? Having intimate conversations. And so how do we, how do we, as a collective, how do we, as individuals start to practice that muscle of being in community with each other? And I know Jordan, you, you have a unique way of being in community with your, groups. And I'd love. If you'd share a little like, how do people rest in community?

Jordan Maney (29:55) God. I think the biggest I want to talk about the barrier first, because as I keep going back to this water, like metaphor analogy, metaphor. I keep going back to that visual, that visual of the water. I feel like because I oftentimes work with like executive directors, people who are leaders type a very like practical.

Kim Romain (29:58) Hehehehe

Louise (30:08) Sure.

Jordan Maney (30:25) They know how to bring people together. They do not know how to be with people as themselves, not themselves, comma, title. But just as like, just as Kim, just as Louise, just as Jordan, like it doesn't, there doesn't need to be like the, God, I put this hat on. No, taking the hats off. I feel like those barriers are very interesting that they have to work through. But once you get to a place of being able to rest in community, I think it's because you feel comfortable enough to let people support you.

You've reached a place where you recognize like, of course we do the things that we need to do individually to rest and take care of ourselves. But in terms of being in community, it's kind of like if we're looking at cups, right? I see that your cup needs a little watering and then maybe two weeks later you see that my cup needs a little watering and it's the ability to recognize where we need to do our portion of the filling but then being able to be generous knowing and not expecting it to come back but just like trusting in some way that it will.

And still being able to like move forward and function. It's being able to check in on people. I had a community member last year who was experiencing local to me was experiencing some, what's the term, housing instability and the barrier to requesting help. this is like, I keep going back to this water thing. Oftentimes you don't even want to step in the water. We don't want to feel vulnerable to this water, to this situation, to the circumstance that seems bigger than us, that is moving us all over the place. And we don't want to do that. And so she was really brave in saying like, hey, this is a situation that I'm in. And she didn't ask for anything, but I took that as an opening to say, and how do you need to be supported? How would you like to be supported?

And I mean, didn't do, I don't think I did anything crazy. It was very helpful for me, but like I made her some food. Like we met up at a location and like we were able to just like exchange time with each other and like, if you need anything. And then I think later in the year, last year, one of my mom's sisters passed and her thing was like, well, how, how do you need to be supported right now? and it's just like that passing of the cup, that passing of the water, like.

Allowing yourself once you know and I get I get why people are hesitant to get in the water because sometimes they've stepped into water before and maybe there are sharks right or crocodiles or alligators or what a side wind or snakes all types of stuff right but knowing like hey if you step in the water with me that's not what's in here it's a different experience

So I feel like most of the work of like resting in community is all this stuff that's outside of the water. Right? It's all, it's the preconceived notions. It's the past experiences that have led to feeling like guarded or the fear of who am I without the title or role of being a leader when I step in this water? Who am I just as a person?

It's working through those things, but once you get in the water and recognize it's really nice in here, I think it's that thing of just like passing the cup as needed. Being willing to like check in, excuse me, consistently with each other, not as like a perfectionistic thing, but just like general curiosity of like, hey, how have you been? How are you right now? What do you need?

And the more you do that, the more you kind of flex that muscle, the more you build it. And the easier it is to get in the water. It's just that process of being like, if you want this, you're going to have to examine some of those.

Some of those imagined barriers to getting into it. That's like the mental part of it. But then like the fun part of it, the enjoyable part of it, it's just kind of like, you know, there's at one of my favorite bookshops here, there is a craft night. call it, can I cuss? Okay, I like, just want to make sure before I say it, there's a bitch in Stitch and it's so fun.

Louise (35:14) Yes.

Jordan Maney (35:21) But it's a nice way to like be able to just like do some creative rest with other folks. There's no requirement for you to be good Which I love there's no requirement for you to bring like Hey, I'm really going through this tough time. It just naturally happens in the doing and like the occupation of your hands. It can look like a hiking group.

That's one of the ways that I, I rest in community with two of my closest friends. Every two weeks we pick a park, we're hiking, we're walking. Naturally things just come out out of, out of our system while the body is occupied. LaMine is like, Hey. And it's really lovely. Like, I do, I try and swim two to three times a week and two of those times are connected to like AquaZoomBi classes, which I freaking love.

I'm the youngest person in the class and the meeting age is kind of like 62, 63. It's a big class, but I learned so much from all of those folks. I know we don't have the same political affiliations, but there's something about just kind of like.

I just want to listen to you. You just want to listen to me and I see you as a person. You see me as a person. It doesn't happen all the time. but there's something about like, we're here for this short little period of time in this water. Like, what do you need? How can I help you? outside of this, it's been really nice. And those are like personal ways in terms of community and group. I, the first run of this program that I did, was the smallest version I had. was just two people. But learning over time, Louise, you were talking about, that 10 week cycle and kind of starting and it's like, we're talking about work. We're talking about like in the beginning of this group, it was originally called actually rested. We're talking about work boundaries, but really talking about our personal lives. And they're really talking about how to do this thing, put whatever this vision, this dream is into the world, this advocacy that you want to help people with, how to do that and also take care of yourself. What does that look like? Right? And those, it's really beautiful to see the barriers start to melt away and the guards start to come down and people peeking out from behind it kind of like, hey, I'm here too.

And I'm scared too. I'm, I, today was not a good day or today was a great day and I want to share it with you, but it's, I think it just comes down ultimately all of it. Once you can move past those barriers, there's just like being present with yourself and allowing yourself to be present with other people.

Kim Romain (38:19) That peeking around part is magical. I love it in being in groups, right? And leading groups where people all of a sudden that haven't said anything in a while, they're in that place of, is it okay if I share? Like, right? It's the stepping the toe into the edge of the water. Is it okay if I share? Yeah.

Jordan Maney (38:42) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like testing. Is it cold? it warm? Is there anything here? Like, it's beautiful.

Kim Romain (38:51) Yeah.

In my groups, it often it's like, it starts like that. And then, you know, we're a month in or whatever, and all of sudden they show up and they're in like full tears and they're just going, I just have to tell you something. Right? It's like, yeah, look at what you're doing. You're healing.

Jordan Maney (39:09) You're healing. I, so the difference, I feel like with the pandemic and basically this business being a pandemic baby, so much of it has been online, but my background is in weddings and events. so translating that into restful experiences, IRL has been interesting because it's still kind of that same process of people coming with expectations and, you know, hesitation. But once we get through, once like you've demonstrated that this is a place that I try not to say safe space because for some identities like that's just not the case, but a container that is supportive. Once you recognize this is an affirming place for you, that this is a supportive place for you, that like you can be held, it is interesting seeing the physical things that happen in terms of like seeing people literally like relax at ease, slow down, calmer. And just like the difference between how we start and how we end an event or an experience is just really, it's really rewarding and fulfilling for me, but it's just also just very interesting to see like when it does happen, you don't have to like, force it as the host or if it's like a group coaching situation, you know, it's really allowing people to do the peeking and the toe stuffing. Dipping their toe, should say.

Kim Romain (40:55) You're in Texas, it's a dance.

Jordan Maney (40:56) Mm. It's a two-toe step. Yeah, that's, that's, it's, I don't know, it's just so beautiful to see people allow themselves to be themselves. And ultimately that's what, so the definition for rest, I try and say this everywhere I go, because it's like, if you, if you leave with nothing, leave with this. The way that we define it is rest is the energy, attention and time you return to yourself.

It's how you fill your cup. And so being able to see people return to themselves is such a gift. I don't take that lightly. Even in like a small event or not small, but like a short event, it's not like a long, intense thing. It's really beautiful to get that brief glimpse of people just returning to themselves. And you can tell, I know y'all know.

You can tell when you see when people just kind of like lock in and they're like, that exhale. It's beautiful.

Kim Romain (42:01) where you can see them, right? That spark we all carry, you can actually start to see it again. You can see that glove because it's not covered by all the armor anymore.

Jordan Maney (42:13) And they can see themselves and they can feel like themselves.

Kim Romain (42:15) Yeah.

Louise (42:15) Yeah.

Kim Romain (42:19) Yep.

Louise (42:21) Yeah, it's like a melting, right? Like if we're frozen in our bodies, we're frozen, like I said earlier, right? Like the concrete almost, like we've been stoned for so long. When we're in community and when we're really able to do that, that physical melting of who we are in our bodies, it just, it floats away.

Jordan Maney (42:50) Mm-hmm. Mmm! I love that. Yeah.

Louise (42:51) Right? Yeah.

Kim Romain (42:54) Gets washed away. Absolutely. Yeah.

Louise (42:55) Yeah.

Kim Romain (42:58) My goodness. I feel like we could continue this conversation forever and continue to allow ourselves in the conversation to settle in to right. Allowing that buoyancy and to be held. Cause that's, I have felt from the beginning of this conversation, that place of holding. And from each of you and from myself, right? It's that place of just knowing you can lean back.

So I'm curious from our conversation today, what are those things that you want to point some arrows at, highlight, circle, underline for folks that you'd like to make sure they walk away with?

Jordan Maney (43:35) Ooh, that's such a juicy question. I think the first one is that.

Stepping into the water is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking and the risk requires you to put something down. Put that stone down like you were talking about, Louise, so that you can relax and enjoy yourself. I would say another thing that I want to highlight is just like please don't confuse control with safety.

And when it comes to allowing yourself to be held, if you're afraid other people cannot hold you or support you because of your past experiences or circumstances with other folks, remind yourself that you can hold yourself.

And that even if other people's hands fall away, you are still holding yourself and you will be okay. But take the risk. If you have the opportunity, take the risk to be in community with people who have demonstrated that they are curious, that they care, and that they are invested in your rest.

Louise (45:14) Yeah. Okay. Bye.

Jordan Maney (45:18) hahahaha

Louise (45:19) You know, again, with this water image and that we get to the shore and we can yearn for the other side and we miss this entire conversation that we're having. We miss so much. And to stop and to look around because you're not the only one at the shore.

You're not the only one in the river. You're not the only one who's interested in getting to the other side. You're not the only one experiencing it. It might feel like you are, but you're not. And I think, you know, we talk about this, this community. We, can, we are still in control of how we're crossing that river.

And when we can see others and we can see, right, we can see people floating, we can see people learning to float, we can see people learning to swim, we can see people learning to dip their toe in, we can see people climbing out the other side or floating downstream, like we get to see it all. And to just pause for a moment and see what we see.

And we will find our community. We will find those people who are there to help us in whatever way we need. It could be only the fact that they're there and we can see it being done. Or maybe we need someone to hold our hand and we need to, you know, step into the river together. But it's that. It's like, like, just like, let's pause and let's look around and see what we see, because we're not alone in this whole water experience.

Kim Romain (47:09) That's juicy, juicy stuff. There was a word that was used a couple of times that I really would love to just get a nice juicy highlighter over. Just, eeeh, eeeh, eeeh. Like, allowing.

There is so little that we allow ourselves. Because we're gripping and controlling, attempting to do, prove, and be.

And when we practice allowing, man, shit changes. It really does. There is, for however we show up, each of us individually shows up in the world, there is an allowing gets us to that place of softening. And not softening to somebody else's degree of softening to the degree of softening that we can allow that still feels safe because I think there is a really...

When we get into the healing world, right? Into this wellness world that we all work in. There are these ideas of, right? Soften, relax, right? Let go.

And there's so much that it's like, but I'm not doing it right, but I can't do that, but it's not safe, right? And very rarely do we get to that place of it's not safe. We feel it, but we can't express it. And that word allowing is unique to you, to each of us. Where can you allow someone to support you? Where can you allow a little softening? Where can you allow the water to just gently kiss whatever part of your body is willing to be in the water?

Louise (48:57) I love it. I learned to float today. It's great. It's a great conversation. Jordan, where can folks find you if they want more of this juicy, juicy stuff?

Jordan Maney (49:10) Primarily at my website, JordanManey.com, and LinkedIn, same LinkedIn.com slash I in, I don't know why they do the slash I in. It's so dumb. Yeah. But, a LinkedIn, sometimes I'm on Instagram, but mainly the website and the email list is the best way, to kind of engage with me in the work itself.

Kim Romain (49:22) We'll put it in the notes. Yeah. And there's that beautiful podcast you have out there too.

Jordan Maney (49:39) Yeah, that, the Rest Lab podcast. Thanks for telling me about that. Thanks for reminding me about that. Good Lord. As well, those are our monthly lives on LinkedIn right now with people who give a damn talking about their rest, joy, and care. Wow, they try a different kind of rest. So that's gonna be like a fun little fun thing for people to listen to and engage with.

Louise (49:39) Ha!

Kim Romain (49:42) You're welcome.

Jordan Maney (50:08) But yeah, that's kind of where I am online. I always love engaging with people and oftentimes I think the greatest compliment I get is that, you really are just like this. Yeah, if you message me, if you email me, if you have questions about anything, this is the energy that you're gonna receive. So those are the places that you can find me and I hope to hear from you all.

Kim Romain (50:33) Beautiful. We're so glad that you came and that we got to be a part of your week this week, because that just, yeah, thank you. Yeah, yeah, our great pleasure. And listeners, thank you for joining us today, and we hope you are doing a little bit of dipping your toes into the water. Yeah.

Jordan Maney (50:41) Thank you. Thank you.

Louise (50:52) Absolutely. Thanks everyone. Bye for now.

Kim Romain (50:56) Take care.