Dressing From the Inside Out with Kyla Brown

What if your closet is holding more than clothes? 

In Episode 185 of the Empowered & Embodied Show, Kim Romain and Louise Neil sit down with style coach and strategist Kyla Brown to explore style as a tool for daily embodiment and identity work.

They unpack the difference between dressing for performance and dressing for authenticity, how internalized beliefs show up in what we wear, and why giving yourself permission to hit reset can change everything.

This is a conversation about self-worth, personal power, and learning to dress from the inside out. Because style isn’t about image... it’s a signal of our alignment.

Key Takeaways

• Style is a daily act of identity work. It’s how we embody who we are, not just what we wear.
• Our closets often mirror our inner world; clutter, shame, or holding on can reveal deeper emotional patterns.
• Dressing for authenticity reconnects us to personal power and self-trust.
• Letting go of clothes that no longer fit who we’re becoming creates space for evolution and possibility.
• Hitting “reset” on style isn’t vanity, it’s an act of self-knowledge and liberation.

Key Moments

00:00 – Welcome and Guest Introduction

02:50 – Redefining Style as Personal Power

05:20 – From Tech to Style: Kyla’s Pivot

09:20 – Style, Conditioning, and Authentic Presence

13:10 – Getting Dressed as Daily Identity Work

15:00 – When You Don’t Know Who You Are

19:00 – The Closet Reset: Letting Go and Starting Fresh

26:40 – Style, Self-Worth, and the Stories We Wear

33:10 – Archetypes, Identity, and Embodied Expression

43:20 – Permission to Hit Reset

Connect With Kyla

Kyla's Style Archetype Quiz: https://www.itskylanotkayla.com/quiz

Website: http://itskylanotkayla.com

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/itskylanotkayla

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itskylanotkayla/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itskylanotkayla

Join a circle of changemakers committed to leading with purpose, presence and ease inside Kim's Rising Visionaries mentorship program.

Reclaim your career and confidence during midlife through Louise's Rise & Redefine program.

If you’re loving this show, come check out the Feminist Podcasters Collective, where creators like us are uplifting diverse voices and driving meaningful change. If you’re looking for new shows to fill your feed, head to https://feministpodcasterscollective.com

Transcript

Title: Dressing From The Inside Out 

Episode: 185 

Guests: Kyla Brown 

Hosts: Kim Romain, Louise 

Release Date: November 11, 2025

Kim Romain (00:00) Sometimes the clothes we once wore start to feel like armor or a costume. They become too small for who we've become, both metaphorically and sometimes literally. This week, we're joined by Kyla Brown, style coach and strategist for brilliant women reclaiming their power through what they wear. We talk about style as a tool for daily embodiment, how conditioning hides in our closets, and what it means to dress from the inside out. Because really, what we're talking about here with our clothes is identity work. This isn't about image. It's about coming back to our personal power. Keep listening and maybe share this one with someone you know is ready to start showing up as their true self.

Kim Romain (01:55) Hello, hello, hello everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Empowered and Embodied show. I am one of your co-hosts as always, Kim Romaine, joined by the lovely and incomparable...

Louise (02:08) Thank you. That's a new word. Me, I'm Louise, the other co-host. And I'm very, very excited today to be joined by our lovely, lovely guest.

Kyla Brown (02:17) Hi everyone, I'm Kyla Brown. I am a style coach and I help brilliant women create brilliant closets.

Kim Romain (02:25) Beautiful, beautiful Kyla. We are so, so glad that you are joining us today. And we are going to talk a little bit about style and what that actually means. Like, actually, before I even dive into telling just a little bit more about who you are, I would love to have you talk about like the word style. What does style even mean? What is the definition of style?

Kyla Brown (02:50) That is a great question. So of course you have like the Webster dictionary definition, which is going to tell you that style is a way of doing something. And that can be anything. That could be the way that you walk, the way that you talk. But my definition of style is allowing your personal power to shine through. And specifically in clothes, because that's how I do it. But that can also be in your home, in your way of interacting with people. A lot of people are so bogged down with information about like your personal brand and making sure you have one of those, and they are right. But a personal brand doesn't have to be this super technical thing. Your personal brand doesn't even need the internet to exist. Your style is a lot like your personal brand. Everyone has a signature style, whether they know it or not. It's just the way that people expect you to show up. And for some people that is fabulous and for some people that is frazzled. But everybody has signature style.

Kim Romain (03:53) I love that. Yeah. I mean, and that, that explains a lot about kind of, I think, where we're going to play today in our conversation as well. So let me, let me just let people know just, just a titch about you. Cause I don't even know. I, we met, but I don't know that much about you. So, Kyla is a strategist, for brilliant women ready to future-proof their presence, brand and brilliance. I love those words that you pulled together there. They call her the stylish tech nerd.

Kyla Brown (04:00) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kim Romain (04:20) Did I get that right?

Kyla Brown (04:21) Yes, you did.

Kim Romain (04:23) Because she helps high achieving women create magnetic personal presence, both online and in person with a unique blend of image consulting, AI builds, tech strategy and personal branding. Kyla helps you build influence that doesn't glitch in a fast paced, low trust marketplace. How fun is that?

Kyla Brown (04:45) Thank you! You read that so well. Yeah, that's what I do.

Kim Romain (04:47) Thank you.

Louise (04:52) So, so style geek?

Kyla Brown (04:56) Yes, style nerd specifically. There is a difference between a nerd and a geek. Geeks tend to be fans of specific things, whether they're comics or shows. Whereas nerds are people who just know a whole lot of stuff about a very specific topic. And for me, yes. For me, that is style. I was actually, so I was telling you about that baseball game that I was at the other day.

Louise (04:58) Style nerd. Okay.

Kim Romain (05:13) So I'm both a theater geek and a theater nerd.

Kyla Brown (05:21) And I was sitting down and talking to somebody and I started talking about the differences between, you know, fast fashion and clothes that are made with quality and how vintage clothing oftentimes are 10 times better than anything you'll find in the mall. And I start going in about stitching and seams and darts. And she just looks at me and she's like, I'm really enjoying watching you nerd out about this right now. I'm like, yes, I could do this all day. My background actually before I hopped into styling folks is actually in tech. So I was working in tech for about, I would say, just a little over 10 years. I taught people how to code. I was a computer science teacher. I worked at a startup that was not so small called Codecademy. And we taught people lessons on JavaScript, Python, all that good stuff. There's plenty of videos of me on the internet teaching people how to build things through coding. And that is where I began my career. And the reason I ended up shifting into style was because I love style. I was the friend that people would call up and say, "Hey, what am I wearing?" You tell me, or go shopping with them and I'll help you spend your money. But as I was working in tech, I noticed that there were a lot of women who almost carried a shame around their presence. They were intelligent, they were well-spoken, they were leaders. But when it came to how they were showing up for moments or showing up for their life in their presence, they did not feel confident. And that got in the way of so much. That got in the way of speaking up in a meeting, that got in the way of being recognized, that got in the way of being asked to speak for a conference. So many brilliant women are being held back by the fact that they just have not tackled how they're showing up with style yet. And that's what made me want to go into this work. That's what made me go, "You know what? I'm loving this, but I'm one..." like, you know, the company that I was at, we got acquired, which was yay. But I was like, okay, this is a great moment for me to pivot. And I decided I wanted to go and get formally trained by the London College of Fashion in personal fashion styling for women and really take it a step further so that I can help any woman, any body type, any color palette, help her show up in a way that feels brilliant and easy.

Kim Romain (07:55) Brilliant and easy. It's two... I have two stories going through my mind right now, or two things that I'm thinking of. One is when I was a practicing attorney, I couldn't wait to get home and take my clothes off because they did not feel like mine. Like I was wearing a suit, but I was wearing a costume, to use the French word for suit anyway, but I was using a costume that did not feel like me. It was what I needed to show up as, but it felt so gross. I couldn't wait to get it off my body. And the other thing is where my daughter has become a geek about House. I had to use the right word there. House MD. And so we've been watching it and it always bothered me. Even back when I watched it originally, it always bothered me that the hospital administrator, really the, the, the strong female lead in the show, was wearing these super ultra tight, low-cut, and everybody was always mentioning her body. And I'm like, couldn't she dress in a way that felt aligned with her position, that she had that confidence? The skin tight doesn't bother me as much as the fact that it was the show's costumer decided they had to make her into this sexy person or this appearance of a sexy person that she couldn't be in non-revealing clothing. So those are the two things that pop into my head.

Kyla Brown (09:20) Yes. Yes, yes. And I think about that all the time. I actually have a master class out there called Sexy But Make It Classy. And what I talk about in there specifically is like as women, we are constantly fed these images where, I don't know if I can say this word on this podcast. Okay. We're taught two images exist for women, the Madonna and the whore.

Kim Romain (09:46) You can say whatever word you want. Nothing is off the table.

Kyla Brown (09:55) And you have to pick a side. You can't ever find yourself going down the middle. And the unfortunate part about this is that the way that we're taught about sexy is that it's for consumption, for other people's consumption of us. Like we are these objects or products to be consumed versus it being an energetic thing. And for that character, right? Cause I haven't watched House, but I'm familiar with the show. And for that character, she is now becoming a bit of a joke, even though she's a very intelligent woman. She is also being disrespected, even though she holds a position of authority. And the thought is that, well, she has to be because what else could a woman be unless she's just gonna come in and feel frumpy every day? There's only the two of those things. And I think that for women, the reason style in itself feels prickly is because it gives us our own opportunity to decide how we're going to be perceived and decide how we're going to perceive ourselves and to take that power and own it and say, like, I'm actually going to be intentional and strategic about this, is something that we're taught is like bad, like, like, my gosh, you're not really supposed to care. Caring is like for those girls, we don't care, especially a smart woman. A smart woman, we're too smart for that. Whereas a smart woman is actually very strategic. A smart woman cares about her style and cares about her appearance so that one, she feels like she can step into the role she needs to step into for her life. And two, she's also being received by the world in a way that makes her feel comfortable versus her hiding or being the punchline for a sarcastic narcissist like House.

Louise (11:43) It really is about like this can this deeper connection with who we are. And it's like, how do we take who we are on the inside? And, and, like, personify it, like, we bring it out, right, of, of, of, of who we are so that we can see it and others can see it. But it really impacts like the clothes I wear absolutely impact the kind of day that I'm having. It impacts my confidence. It impacts how I feel about my body. If I'm trying to shove myself into clothes that no longer fit me, that is a recipe for disaster. When I put on clothes that fit and feel good, I feel fit and I feel good. And it's so amazing how these things that just touch our skin, it can really impact how we're showing up in the world, but also how we're feeling about ourselves.

Kyla Brown (12:42) I feel like what getting dressed, the act of getting dressed is really underrated. Style is very energetic. Getting dressed is the one habit that we're at least supposed to do daily. Sometimes we have those days, we all have those days, but we're supposed to do daily. It is a daily act in identity work that goes under the radar all the time. It is a daily act.

Kim Romain (13:08) I just want to pause right there. Like, don't, we're not going to skip over that. Say that again.

Kyla Brown (13:14) Yes, getting dressed is a daily act of identity work that goes under the radar. And it's hard to hear it because we will have those clothes, those clothes sitting in our closet that are like, you know, they fit me pre-pandemic and I'm just hoping that I'll get back into it. Or, you know, I really can't be bothered. I'm a busy mother. I have a busy career. I have X, Y, Z going on. Like I just want to get dressed and let it be done. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's why I always say your style should be brilliant, be easy. We're not getting ready for the Met. But at the same time, your style needs to be intentional. The pieces in your closet should make you feel good. They should look good and they should express who you are. Even if they're gym clothes. I am a bit of a stickler. I make my clients take out the piece, that old shirt with a hole in it that you wear. I allow you to have one shirt like that and one pair of pants like that. And I say, okay, the next time you have to like paint your house or something, this is what you're allowed to put on. Okay. I'll allow it. But other than that, that should not be the majority of your closet because your closet is a lot like your mind. It is a place where we hold all those memories. It's a place where we hold the good ones and the bad ones. And if you're keeping 50% of your closet is clothes you feel wearing or even ashamed about, that is a big reflection on how you're viewing yourself in that daily identity work act of getting dressed. Yeah.

Louise (14:50) Yeah.

Kim Romain (14:52) So something both of you said, and I can't remember the exact words that either of you said, but this like ping went off inside of me of, what if you don't know who you are?

Kyla Brown (15:03) Yes. And the thing is, so when it comes to learning who you are, women are given a label immediately, immediately, more than one. They actually layer on and then you just kind of get lost underneath all of them. But your daughter and your sister and your girlfriend and your best friend and then your wife and then your mom and then your aunt and you just get all of these and then you become lawyer and then you become... you get all of these labels given to you. And very few women ever experience any sort of container or space where they're asked like, "What, who are you? Like, what are you really?" outside of, if you had no labels at all, who are you? And as a stylist, I take the container of one-to-one coaching or group programs or workshops very seriously because women who are coming into my space, oftentimes this is the first time they're even becoming aware of the fact that they really don't know who they are. Because when we start to say, "Okay, so what do you like?" Because you can list off, if I ask you what you don't like, you can tell me about 20 different things. You can list them in detail. And then when I say, "Okay, that's great. So what do you like?" then it's a, "I don't know." And for that, for anybody who might be listening to this, I did create a style archetype guide. It's a quiz, super quick quiz, and it's a really fun quiz. And I have them based off of the feminine archetypes. There are traditionally seven of them. And the reason I do that is because the act of discovering your style is a major womanhood moment. And I think that... it's a womanhood moment that we kind of don't take seriously because we're taught that like style is just for like shopaholics and going shopping and, and like frivolous things. But really what we're doing here is saying like, okay, the energies that you're holding the most at this point in your life are maiden or queen. This is how other people might be perceiving you. But also this is the power that you have here. Where your superpowers lie, here are where your talents lie. And based off of those things, here's how we can amplify that with your style. So say you get the mother archetype, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have kids or that's your necessarily maternal figure for other people. But what that means is that you're really good at community and connecting people. And because of that, when I'm styling you, I'm going to think of, I'm going to bring you things that are tactile, something with like embroidery on it or something that's really grounded, like a nice, beautiful brown leather skirt, maybe something different, something that's unique, something that is a conversation starter, but also something that really amplifies your energy. Now, if you find that you're really heavy in mother energy and you want to kind of balance it out with something else, then we might introduce lover energy into your clothing. And maybe that's more shears and more items that have movement in them. A shirt with a sleeve that moves as you move. Something to balance out those energies and really allow your style to actually express who you are. And it's not that anybody is any one archetype. We are all, all of them. We all have all of them. However, when it comes to that question of like, who am I? What do I like? A lot of the times when you remove all those labels, what you have is who you're being. And that's why I use the feminine archetypes as my style archetypes.

Louise (18:49) I have I love that because we start to put like a little bit of language around what that is. So now I can actually start to kind of see it a little bit more than just like this word style. I had this moment not that long ago, where I had this event to go to and I was like, I'm not a great networker, very introverted. And so I'm like, okay, here I am, I'm going to this event, I look in my closet, and it's full of my old corporate life. That was eight, 10 years ago me. And so I'm like, here's this power shirt, right? That I was like, I loved it at the time. I felt really confident when I was wearing it. It was like, yeah, and I'm like, that's who I want to be right now. And I go to put it on, and it doesn't fit. And it's like, it starts to feel gross. And I'm like, how come I don't feel confident anymore in this shirt? How come it's not, it feels like it's wearing me and I'm not wearing it? And it really like it impacted my whole night. I wore it anyways. And I was at this event and all I could think of was like, like, these sleeves are like, they're bugging me. And I was like, now this thing here and now I can feel the tag. And it's like, I did not show up as my best self at all in something that was I felt was my best self. And like that really shook me. When you talk about identity and like figuring out like, who we are, it was like this, I don't know, this revelation of like, that's who I was. But now I don't have anything that expresses who I am now. And so I cleaned up my closet. I took everything out of my closet. I put it in the spare closet. And I'm like, I'm only gonna put things in my closet that actually feel good. And I started to bring a few things back and then I recognized I'd put something on. I'd wear it around the house for an hour and I'm like, gross, right? Like I don't feel good at all into the donation bag. And a few things were hard to do because it was like, but I loved this. Look at this color. The color just, right? It's me. But I'm like, but... It doesn't feel good. It like pinches under the arms now. And it's like, or tugging down on it because I want it to be longer. And it's like, well, I'm going to have to say goodbye to that thing. That was me. But it's, it's a process to go through. But, but yeah, like, Kyla, what's going on with me? What's happening?

Kyla Brown (21:09) Yes. Yes. What's happening to you is very normal. It happens all the time. People come to me normally in that space of like, "I don't do half of the stuff I did before. Now, help." Whether that's, "I don't work in corporate anymore," "I don't go to the club and drink as much as I used to," that happens. "I don't live with that man anymore," that happens. And that becomes such a beautiful moment in like womanhood and our experience as human beings where we are, we've hit the reset button. And I love that you gave yourself full permission to hit reset. And that is what women... Ladies, if you don't take, if you take one thing away from today, give yourself full permission to hit the reset button. Is it going to be comfortable? No. But that's like anything in life. Anything that's worth doing usually isn't the most comfortable at first, but it is fully worth it. Giving yourself the permission to hit reset on your style, pull out what's not working unapologetically, even if it feels like, "My gosh, most of my clothes are sitting in a pile on the floor now. Nothing is in this closet anymore." I think that we feel shame around the money that was spent on things that we're not going to wear anymore. The, the, the strangeness of seeing negative space or empty space in our closet feels like, "No, there's something wrong with that. It's supposed to be full all the time." And feeling like you'd rather fill the gaps with things that don't really align with you than seeing things be empty. I think that when women are in that space, they need the permission to have a reset moment, especially if you're attempting at doing it alone, which like props to you because that's usually where women get the most stuck. But to any woman who's in that space, along with hitting reset, you also need to get clear about what it is that you do want to fill that space with. So that is why I have, like I said, the style archetypes quiz available for folks. I have the closet essentials checklist available for folks just to help you get clarity around what you really need. Those closet essentials specifically, it doesn't matter if you feel like you're a preppy person or a classic person or a boho person, everybody needs a great pair of jeans. Everyone needs a great pair of trousers that fit well. Everyone needs a great clean white t-shirt. These are items that are just going to carry you through. And allow yourself to almost be a bit of a blank slate because they're all pretty basic items. And then from there, now that you have those basic items down, now you can start to play around with, "Maybe I should try something a little more unique." "Maybe I'm going to spend a little more than I've ever spent before on a dress," or "Maybe I'm going to check out consignment or thrifting and purchasing secondhand and find a vintage item that is one of one." But these are the moments now where you get to let yourself play and explore and discover what you actually truly really like. And then from there, now you're starting to curate a closet versus feeling like you're wearing a costume.

Kim Romain (24:45) When you were talking about that blank space, right? The empty space, the negative space in your closet, I feel like that can be talked about with food, it can be talked about with money, can be talked about, right? All of these areas of our life can also be talked about our mind. It can be talked about with our energy. It can be talked about with our emotions and our heart because we don't, when there's an absence of something there, we, we panic. It's like, what did I do wrong? How did I not do this right? How am I gonna ever fill it again when we don't actually have to fill everything, right? I just went through this move. So a big purge as we were leaving, but then we did it quickly. So we didn't purge everything. We're purging again as we're coming into this space, we're opening boxes and we're like, "Oh, why, that doesn't need to be with us anymore." I'm getting ready to go on a trip and it's very much around like, okay, I'm gonna be 14 days on the road. I'm not gonna have a wash day in between. Normally when I go that long, I'm not gonna have a wash day in between. So how am I gonna pack for 14 days for international travel with differing temperatures in one suitcase? Now it's not gonna be a tiny suitcase, but one suitcase. And what I'm noticing as I'm going through my stuff, I'm like, but I haven't even worn that. Like I'm trying on new things too. I'm walking through the house. I'm like, who is this something I could do? I've found a couple of new things. Then I've found other things that I'm like, I really don't, why did I even move with this? And again, it's like, how do we let it be okay to have that negative space? How do we sit in that discomfort and know that that's not a reflection on us, that we've done anything wrong?

Kyla Brown (26:41) Yes, you would be shocked how many times there are tears in sessions.

Kim Romain (26:49) No, I can feel it very deeply.

Kyla Brown (26:52) Yes, and we make space, we hold space for it because your closet, like you said, like your money, like food, they're, they're often us... The issues that we're seeing are symptoms of larger issues. So they're going to come up and that is okay. It's beautiful for it to come up. It's a beautiful thing for it to come up. And I think that when it comes to style, a lot of women are stuck in survival mode and it shows. People can actually see it on you. And that's not a bad thing or anything to be ashamed about, but your closet will tell on you. It will tell on you. It will say, "Hey, Kyla, Kyla has a hard time with letting go. There's some abandonment issues here." Or my closet will say, "Kyla's self-worth is not where it really needs to be because she only feels like, she feels like every item in her closet should be under $10. If it's more than $10, she's, she's being frivolous. She's being, she like people like her don't have things like that." Your closet will really tell on you. And I think that when it comes to having that negative space, I'm really not all that religious, but I grew up going to church and one scripture verse that keeps coming up for me a lot this week, which is strange, but there is this, "Be still and know that I am God" verse. It's pretty popular. I kind of, you know, God's cooler, whatever, but I kind of cut him out of that verse. And I've been saying, "Be still and know that I am." And sometimes in order to know who you are, you have to get still. You have to let things fall away. You have to let things feel uncomfortable and kind of be a blank slate. And that might be happening for you at 65. That might be happening for you at 25. That might be happening for you somewhere in between. But you have to be okay with the fact that like there's going to be an uncomfortable period before a period of beauty. And when that comes to style, there is going to be a period where it's like, okay, I feel like I have less than 20 items in my closet right now, or I feel like I've gotten rid of all these suits that I used to wear when I was in this corporate job. And I spent good money on them. And what if I need them again later? And being comfortable with, "But I'm going to let them go anyway." And if it were to pop up again, one day I have a corporate job again and I need it again, I'm going to trust that I'm going to be able to have that, have the resources to take care of that when that day comes versus feeling like you have to hoard moments or hoard clothing items for moments that you're not even sure will ever come around. And that can be uncomfortable.

Kim Romain (29:39) Me with gala dresses. Like my suits were easy to get, relatively easy to get rid of. Some of them were hard because they were beautiful. I didn't like wearing them, but they were gorgeous. I was in nonprofit for so long as well. And so I have all these gala dresses and they're gorgeous. And I'm like, I want to have somewhere to wear it again is my issue.

Kyla Brown (29:58) That is real. I'm going to hold your hand as I'm saying this and tell you to let them go. And you know, I've said a lot of woo woo things, but even down to the practical, gala dresses, suits, those are actually really great pieces to bring to your local consignment shop. If you have Poshmark on your phone, take a snap a picture or find an old picture of you wearing it, post it there and let those clothes give back to you. Let those clothes give back to you in some way, but holding onto them. It's not necessarily a negative thing because there are some pieces that we hold onto with a lot of positive memories attached to them. And I always say that's that Marie Kondo moment where you get to say thank you and let it go and allow it to give back to you through consignment and then give to somebody else later on one day in life or donate it. There's a lot of really great programs, especially for gala dresses where you get to donate those things and let yourself have peace knowing that it's going to continue living a good life and that you fully got your value from that dress in that moment. But if it comes to the point where you have enough gala dresses to cook dinner in a gala dress, then I would say, I would say...

Kim Romain (31:09) Maybe? But I will just say that I was really happy that I had an extra closet in this house to put some certain things in. So it's so interesting because I absolutely, actually found a really, when I got rid of all of my beautiful suits, I found some wonderful nonprofits who provided closets for those who were looking for jobs. So women who were looking for jobs or anybody who wanted to wear that suit, that style, they could go in and they could, and it wasn't, they had to go buy it. They could either take it and own it, or they could take it, have it laundered and bring it back. So it was like a sharing library so that more people are getting use out of them. And I love being able to donate to that. I'm gonna do a hard left pivot for just a second, if you're okay with that. So I did the quiz while we were on, while we were talking.

Kyla Brown (31:51) I love that. Okay.

Kim Romain (32:11) And I'm gonna test you.

Kyla Brown (32:13) Okay.

Kim Romain (32:13) So I'm curious, when you walk into a session with a new client, do you, without seeing what they have, can you guess their vibe? Louise, go do the quiz really quickly and see if she can guess you too.

Kyla Brown (32:26) Hmm. Yes. If I'm seeing somebody, if I, okay, if I'm walking into your home, we've probably had a conversation already. And that was the moment where I start making my guesses. I always make my guesses. I'm not going to lie. I never hold onto them because you really never know. But, especially when I meet women and I'm having conversation with them and I'm having a conversation in a group with women in that group, I tend to start saying, "You're giving me Huntress," "You're giving me Sage." And those things kind of come up. There's little tells, there's little tells. And many, like I said, most of them are a blend. So some people might have like two very dominant archetypes, but yes, I play the guessing game. I do.

Kim Romain (33:11) Louise, you let us know when you're ready. I'm just going to keep talking to Kyla and then, okay, you keep going. When you, because I have a feminine archetype quiz as well. And I want to dive in here for just a second because I find those archetypes to be so much more powerful than when people think about feminine archetypes. Generally they think of the maiden and the lover and the, you know, laying on the divan, whatever. When you started looking at at these archetypes and started bringing them into style, what did you feel? Like what was that experience? Because I know it was super visceral for me working with.

Kyla Brown (33:49) Yes. Oh, wow. It was, I was really in a place of intrigue as I was doing it. Um, I love the fact that there is a light and a shadow to each one of them. There's, uh, being a woman, femininity, feminine archetypes is very little on the, um, pink and being pleasant scale and much more on the decisions about life and death scale. The bleed once a month scale, the creation energy, which is what I find so intriguing about the archetypes. And that's why I find so intriguing about women. And I wish more women would allow themselves to be intrigued by themselves in both their light and their shadow. Because whether you're like, I mean, even Maiden, her shadow, okay, if you take the quiz, all right, and you look at the Maiden shadow, and I do list that out once you get your result, I walk through, "Okay, here's your lights, here's your shadows. Please don't be mad at me. I'm just saying, don't shoot the messenger." But even the Maiden has shadow. Even the Huntress and the Mystic have their light. And I think that women might get caught up in the comparison game of thinking one is better to have than the other. You have all of them. None is better than the other. And the ones you least expect are the most fun to style.

Kim Romain (35:17) Yeah, yeah. It's so funny because I had been running a group and we were talking about feminine archetypes. They all took it, that it was all part of how I was leading them into this. It was actually a business accelerator though. I talked through it. Yeah, it's very cool. And one of the women was like, "I took it seven times and it kept coming up mother and I'm really pissed." And I'm like, okay. She's like, "It's mother and then healer." And I'm like, "Okay, why are you pissed about that?" And then I thought about my own thing when our daughter was three and somebody asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and she was like a mama. And I'm like, "You want to be more than that." And right, because we have this feeling about mother as not being... right? It's nurturing and it's soft. Yeah. But it is also mama bear. Don't fuck with me.

Kyla Brown (36:06) Sure. Exactly. Exactly. And the thing is, mother in many ways is almost becomes the antithesis of creation. Mother, if there is no mother, there is nothing. There is nothing. And I think unfortunately a lot of that is our conditioning. It really is. It really is. I mean, obviously whatever thing that you do on a day to day, however you contribute to this planet in a professional sense is huge. Okay. We were not saying that like, you don't have to choose. Welcome to the year 2025 if you didn't know, you don't have to choose. But at the same time, being mother, being maiden, being sage, being queen, being mystic, being huntress, being in those energies is really about how you're doing life. And if that woman sent me that an email like, "Hey, I got mother seven times and I hate it." I'd say, "You know what, maybe you need to go and read about what your shadow is with that as well," because that's also where a lot of your power is. The shadow for a mother, and hopefully I'm not mistaken, I need to pull this back, I might have to pull this up in front of me. But the shadow for a mother can be that over-giving. The shadow for the mother can be, you know, overbearing maybe. But at the same time in that shadow, in that power is the fact that things are going to get done. If you want anything done, you call mother. You call mother and it gets done. Like you said, there's also mama bear. Mother is what would fix a lot of the problems that we're dealing with right now. Mother knows her value. Not to go too far... you know, time out, exactly. Mother knows the value of balance. Mother knows her value. That is crucial.

Kim Romain (37:57) Yeah, not to, not to go there too far, but somebody needs to give someone a timeout right now. That's all I'm saying.

Kyla Brown (38:12) for all of the archetypes, but especially mother. But yeah, yeah.

Kim Romain (38:15) Yeah. Yeah. Very good. All right, Louise, you got yours done? Okay. All right. Great. Great. So, Kyla, tell us who you think we are.

Louise (38:19) I did, I did mine.

Kyla Brown (38:25) Okay. Okay. And you'll tell me from wrong. After our conversation for Louise, I'm curious if you got Sage. I might be wrong. What did you get?

Louise (38:36) I did not. I got mother.

Kyla Brown (38:40) You got mother. That works. That works. Yes. Yes. And I think it's so funny because you do have a warmth that does give mother a giveaway, like mother. And I love that. I love that. And did you make it to the results page to see what type of items would look great on you and really work for your style? Yeah. Yes.

Kim Romain (38:43) I had a feeling it was gonna be Mom.

Louise (38:45) I haven't, but I'm going to. I think this is great. I'm actually thinking about like, maybe I clean out my closet again, and I start over and really, really get into this exercise. When you, okay, there's so many things I want to say. Okay, what, so say Kim, what's Kim?

Kyla Brown (39:12) Mmm. I love. Yes. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's see if I can get at least one of the two. Kim. You give me huntress energy? Ooh, or mystic. I'm like caught between the two of those. Maybe I'm second guessing myself now.

Kim Romain (39:40) One of those is correct. Yes. No, I wish it worked. Yeah. I mean, I kind of, have leopard print on, so maybe that kind of threw you off a little bit. No, I got, I got mystic. Yeah.

Kyla Brown (39:55) Okay. I love that. I love that. So you're aligned, especially with the with a precious stone on your necklace. Works. Yes. And the thing is, even Mystic wears gala dresses, even Mother wears lingerie. Okay, all of them.

Kim Romain (39:57) Yeah, I got it and went, yes. It's pretty much what my closet looks like now too. So plus gala dresses. Exactly. Yeah.

Kyla Brown (40:18) All of them show up for every moment of life, like getting dressed, yeah.

Kim Romain (40:24) The quiz was super fun, super easy. Thank you for that. And I will say that at the end, like going and seeing, because there are some, the words that you use, so style dressing guide for the mystic, right? Soulful, serene, mystery, rich textured fabrics, flowing materials. I mean, Louise has seen my closet for sure. She knows that pretty much matches what's in there right now. It's, you make it really accessible and really easy. And I think that was your goal, not just with the quiz, but with everything that you're bringing forward is to say, this is identity work, as we talked about. This is hard stuff, tears, right? Uncomfortable, lots of discomfort. And we can start to touch those really tender spaces with some love, with some fun, with some joy, in a way that starts to make us feel like who we wanna show up as, even if we're not sure who that is.

Kyla Brown (41:26) Yes, yes. And I really appreciate you saying that. I really, this is my baby. My business is my baby. I am in my mother energy when it comes to my business always because I really want it to be accessible and I really want... The language is extremely intentional. I really want women in my dream world, every woman is fully clear on what her personal power is. She dresses for it daily and she doesn't feel like she needs to hide. I think that we all have, it's almost like a collective wound around fear of being seen, hiding, and not wanting to be too big for our britches. And I think that that is actually the biggest disservice we could do for the world is play it small. So whenever a woman comes into my space, whether it's the quiz, whether it's fully signing up for a service, whatever it is, I really want her to walk away from that with the, the simple systems for looking her best, not the best, not better than anybody else, looking her best every day.

Kim Romain (42:41) That ties right into something Louise said in a recent episode, is, "I don't want to be the best, I want to be my..."

Kyla Brown (42:48) Yes, yes, yes. Because the best is so arbitrary. It's going to, it's a moving target. But being like your best and like you know what that feels like because it's an embodied, empowered and embodied experience. It's an embodied experience. Yes. It truly is an embodied experience. You feel it on the inside. You move differently. Yeah, yeah. It feels good.

Kim Romain (43:03) Now you get the name.

Kim Romain (43:16) If we were to summarize in one little sentence, one takeaway that we want to make sure people have from this conversation, what is that?

Kyla Brown (43:22) I'll say it again. Allow yourself, give yourself the permission to hit reset. And that could be with your closet or anything else. Give yourself permission to reset.

Louise (43:33) Yeah. I love that. Yes. Yes. And for me, what stuck out in this episode, and I think in life in general, is this, our, we're constantly evolving, we're constantly changing, and not to get hooked on who we were and have that as the standard somehow of who we should be and that we are evolving and we're growing and we're learning and as our bodies change and our minds change and our lives change, our wardrobe should also change and that's okay. Yes. Yeah.

Kyla Brown (44:08) Yes. That is okay. I love that. I love that.

Kim Romain (44:14) Better than okay. Yeah, I would say just tacking on to that, right, it's that know thyself. It's doing the deep identity work on an ongoing basis so we can get to those places of letting go of what was and who we are and who we're becoming. So being, allowing us ourselves to be in process and to know thyself.

Kyla Brown (44:36) Yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Louise (44:40) But Kyla, where, other than this amazing quiz that every listener is going to go do, because we're going to make sure we have the link in the show notes. But other than that, where can people find you, connect with you? What do you got going on in the world?

Kyla Brown (44:44) Yes! My gosh, well, if you're looking for me, my corner of the world, you can always find me at it's Kyla, not Kayla. So that's I T S K Y L A N O T K A Y L A. I used to get called Kayla a lot. That is across socials, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube. And then you can also find me at my website, It's Kyla Not Kayla. That's where you'll find the quiz, any of my digital products and downloads for you all, master classes and services.

Kim Romain (45:27) Beautiful. Thank you so much for making the time and for brightening the world with your sunshine and light. Thank you so much.

Kyla Brown (45:33) Thank you. Thank you so much. All right.

Louise (45:36) Yes, thank you. Thank you, listener. I gotta go. I have a closet to empty. Thanks, everyone. Take care. Bye for now.

Kyla Brown (45:42) Ha!